Tuesday 4 May 2010

|down...somewhere down there|

Worrying about multiple things at the same time has the possibility of giving someone a nervous break down, right? Especially when you don't know where to start. All the stress that comes with that worrying gives you butterflies in your stomach...and its not the good kind of butterflies.

Its the kind that makes you kinda want to pull out your insides because you feel so damn uncomfortable. You don't want to throw up..you don't want to eat..you want to cry but you cant really do that because for some reason you can't. And you wonder, will everything that I am worrying about work out in the end. Will they work out in a way that I will be happy in the end and I will think, hmm, everything works out well in the end....or, will they work out in way that I will just be disappointed and think, #$^@! I knew it?

Its uncertain to tell when this feeling will leave me. But it might be here for awhile until all my worries are dealt with and pass...atleast something has to work out. Until then, I might just have to get used to this nervousness..to this anxiety..to thinking constantly about what ever it is that is worrying me.

I don't know what to do...because like everyone else, I'm caught in a life that I cant get out of but one that I love.
"So what can I say, what can I do. I'm running in circles, save me. It's holding me down...what about you?" (Donkeyboy)

For now, I will sleep and not feel the way I do just for a few hours...and there is no need to turn off any electricity in this little tote because down here... down here is pretty dark already as it is.

I'm running in circles, save me! And it's holding me down...somewhere down there.